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Hypothetical JJerio Style Episode VIII (but by Me)

We open in on Ahch-To where Rey is giving Luke his saber. Luke is all “Who are you?” Rey is like “I'm Rey.” and he's like “Rey who?” and she's like “Just Rey.” She tells him she's from the Resistance and they need him, especially Leia... Why did he disappear just as the galaxy needed him most?

Luke's just like “Because Snoke is... too powerful. He's like 10 Palpatines basically. He turned Ben to the dark side. Resistance is futile. The further I am away, the sooner there can be peace or something. I dunno.” But Rey is like “No, there's always hope! You taught the Galaxy that! ... You taught me that. When I was a child... Looking up to the Legend of Luke Skywalker.... You were more real to me than my parents... Please teach me the ways of the force so we can defeat the First Order...”

Then Luke's like “Idk I cant kill my own nephew... Can I?” but Rey's like “We'll just kill Snoke I guess idk we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Then Luke does some cool force stuff and teaches Rey how to lift an X-Wing out of the water or something. We get like a scene of Luke alone being all like “Maybe there is hope after all... With Rey... But can she resist the pull of the dark side that is... In her blood?” And like maybe looks at something that reminds him of Ben or Vader or something who knows.

Meanwhile back at the resistance base literally everyone is talking about how cool Poe is and how he totally almost single handedly took out a star destroyer. Holdo is there and she's like “We gotta be cautious” but Poe goes behind her back and just wins everything and everyone celebrates how cool he is. Leia gives him Han's old clothes or something because he 'always thought of Poe like his own son' or some bullshit. That's Poe's story. Oh but also his PAST AS A SPICE RUNNER catches up to him but it's okay because it's just an excuse to give him a heterosexual love interest to take his interest off of Finn. Or maybe there can be a romantic subplot between Poe and Connix. Sounds good. Sure.

Finn is working with Poe and nobody stops him from doing a stupid self-sacrificing suicide attack but miraculously he absolutely manages to pull it off and not even die like stupid Holdo because uh... He has Force powers. Unfortunately since Rey is already off learning force powers from Luke there's no one there to teach Finn... Or is there? Because Leia is also a Jedi. She stopped her Jedi path because she didn't want her son to die or something but now that Ben's evil and stuff she decides that wouldn't be such a bad thing after all so she trains Finn. Maybe she tells Finn that he's the son she's always wanted, a good-hearted boy she can train in the ways of the force without losing to evil and Finn is like “I'll do my best to earn your trust and love” or something and Leia tells him he's earned her lightsaber so he gets to go off and fight the First Order, which he totally does.

Kylo Ren is just super evil. Like he's a bad dude. He fights with Hux a lot. Maybe he wants to turn a little bit, because his heart isn't completely hardened yet, but he's set on the proper 'Vader but more evil' path by Snoke who is probably like Darth Plagueis or Darth Bane or just a Palpatine Puppet Pal like in TroS but probably not because he's supposed to be like 10 Palpatines! So Snoke Banegueis is like “You must follow your destiny of becoming stronger and eviler than darth vader and you will become a Sith.” and at the end of the movie Kylo Ren decides to become full Sith after Rey tries to turn him or whatever and he tries to kill her but she's saved by Luke at the last second so he like kills Luke instead and is given a cool new Sith name. IDK but its like super cool and edgy. Then he's going to kill Hux but he's stopped by Snoke Banegueis because Hux is useful or something... IDK we need someone to be the spy in the next stupid movie, right?

Anyway, Rey and Ben don't get a cool force bond or anything and there's no Rose, so whatever. But Rey meets Poe and there's a love triangle between Rey, Poe, and Poe's ex. Finn doesn't get a love interest because someone needs to be the new Luke. With his dying breath or whatever Luke tells Rey there's no way to save Ben anymore because he's truly gone, but also that Rey's true parents are... idk him and Palpatine's secret but super hot daughter. Or maybe him and Leia (but he wouldn't get away with that, right?). And so he had to hide Rey on Jakku from Snoke or Palpatine if he's still here I dunno, but he sold her to protect her and Rey cries and is like “I forgive you... Dad.” And Luke says “Rey... Skywalker.” and then he dies.

Rey reunites with the rest of the 'trio' and they look into the sunset together from the resistance base but the resistance base somehow looks just like hospital scene at the end of Empire Strikes Back, and the pose is the same except its Damerey instead of Luke and Leia. Maybe it's Finnrey. As long as it isn't Kylo the end.

Hey I deleted my tumblr. Gotta relearn how to work this place.

...Write Something here to complain about what I'm not doing.

I have no idea what to write. Well, that's wrong actually. I have too many ideas on what to write and I can't narrow it down to one. I need to narrow it down though or else nothing will ever get done.

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